dont-argue-with-your-serperior:
im that one friend that doesnt date anyone and doesnt really go to parties or have a life really but when im over at your house ill eat all your food and for exchange i shall tell you bad puns
(via passthecocaine)
What if you woke up onemorning to your worst selfie painted on your ceiling
(via tearnhuman)
My mom has bought ten smooth raspberry yogurts I’m so happy I don’t even know what to do!
adding a period on the end of everything makes it sound sarcastic
lol.
haha.
youre so funny.
youre so hot.
of course i dont hate you.
(via tearnhuman)
if you havent seen zac efron without eyebrows i swear to god you have not lived
what about matt smith with eyebrows
Im pretty sure I’ve just woke the whole street up with my manic laughing
(Source: ohrelaxcupcakeitwasajoke, via passthecocaine)
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Here in Canada you can
Here in England we just… scream and run
Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer
Here in Australia you are the murderer
(via tearnhuman)
mom, dad, these are my newborn twins. their names are mom and dad. i named them after you. what do you mean ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ aren’t your real names? what the hell? i already named these kids thanks for telling me now
(via tearnhuman)
Star Trek “Tik Tok”
I will never be tired of this.
my new goal in life is to make fan videos that are this good
this will always be the best video
(via passthecocaine)
(Source: revladymal, via passthecocaine)
